It’s the last RAW before Wrestlemania and the buzz is in the air, you know what I could use? A stiff drink. Hi, I’m Jen! But for tonight you can call me JWhoa! Also, it seems like Snooki and Trish Stratus have the same idea I had as proceedings get underway and we’re whisked ‘Live’ to the Jersey Shore. An interview with Trish and Snooki set up to take place in a peaceful looking bar. Hmm, whatever could go wrong? Well, LayCool could turn up. There could be a bar fight. A ton of bad language and broken glasses, maybe a little pool table action. But nah, surely not. Michelle McCool defines class and sophistication after all, she and her colorful sidekick Layla would never stoop to such tactics after all, they live to ‘help people’ and spread peace and love into the hearts of all.

Right?….. right?

Ha! Suuure. And Ronnie and Sam are in a stable relationship. You have got to be kidding me. As Snooki and Trish completely fail to give an interview and instead conduct themselves like classless neanderthals in skirts beating up on innocent hunky menfolk. LayCool arrive to inject a little decorum into the proceedings. Michelle politely taps Snooki on the shoulder and asks for a moment of her time, but horrors, the rude little smurf decides to snap at Layla’s ankles and throw a drink in her face! Utterly uncalled for! Is Michelle going to stand for such foul treatment of her best friend? Of course not. Battle on Divas! Whoever would have thought such a demure first Lady of wrestling would be reduced to fighting in a bar with Trash Stratus and the littlest hobo. I’ve now seen everything. Michelle and Trish tangled full of fierceness over to a pool table, spilled some drinks, kicked some booty and even used harsh language… well, Trish did. Typical heathen behavior. Michelle was held back by some hunky looking men (why did she fight them? I’m not sure, I’d have been collecting numbers) and eventually the fight died down. Leaving Trash and Smeagol swearing like troopers. Psht, just bad manners.

Onward to Wrestlemania! Where a little class will most definitely win out over the beer swilling Neanderthals. Right?… right?

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♥ image gallery: Screen Captures > RAW > 03.28.11

For the second week in a row, Michelle McCool joined the commentating team of Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, and Booker T at ringside. Us Faithful Followers were treated to not only the presence of Lady McCruel herself, but we got yet another peek at her keen fashion sense. BTW, WE LOVE THE BOOTS.. err, boot! Can I just say? I love the more edgy look. Side parts, cropped tops, and hot pants? I hardly noticed the handicap-able (NOW BEDAZZLED!!) walking boot. FLAWLESS! Too bad we’re regulated to three minutes face time and no televised entrance. Or else it would be called the “Girrrrl You Betta Work”.. boot!

Inside the ring, singles action between Layla and Rossssssssssa (roll the tongue) was already well under way. Rosa picked up a quick victory, an easy win, following the interference of Michelle. The match itself, if you can call it that, was anything but interesting. Thankfully, the First Lady of SmackDown was on hand and did us all a favor! Let’s be honest, the WWE Universe doesn’t pay to watch the many transformations of Rosa Mendes. On an unrelated note: MARYSE WANTS HER HAIR BACK! Anyway, let’s get to the real story here.

Back inside the ring, LayCool continued to show signs of their dysfunction. Michelle reminded Layla that without her, she would be nothing. Maybe not in so many words, but she did imply a sense of frustration with having to take care of Layla’s business. Pause.. cue Michelle hair flip! The segment ended with Michelle displaying hesitation to leave with Layla. It’s clear who wears the pants when it comes to Team LayCool! Despite the short exchange of words, the two left as a unit. Layla showing all the classic signs of battered woman syndrome-she just can’t be without her!

In closing, I really like the direction they’re heading in. Though in my heart of hearts, I would like to see them stay together. It’s obvious that a break-up is imminent. To be honest, they’re a hot mess these days. Creative is really slow moving, as they should be, with a split-but handling it nicely. Rumors are indicating a possible tag much for WrestleMania this year. If I was a betting man (which I am!), Look for Team LayCool vs. Trish Stratus and Kelly Kelly to take place on the grandest stage of them all. I think then, and only then, will the final blow hit the already shaky foundation of Layla and Michelle. Only time will tell!

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♥ image gallery: Screen Captures > SmackDown! > 02.25.11
♥ image gallery: WWE.Com > Digital Photos > SmackDown! > February 25, 2011

Last night, Raw went retro! Hall of Famers, Legends and Old School Superstars were all over the place! With all the history making faces of the past running around, we knew LayCool would be involved somehow! They may not be old and wrinkled, but they’ve made tons of history in the past year!

Mean Gene Okerlund brought out Hall of Famer Mae Young! Before that crazy lady (and we all have to admit, we do love that crazy lady!) could say too much, LayCool came out and the fun began! The music man cut their music and really? Truly? Honestly? SERIOUSLY? Mae Young? NOT! LayCool are confused though. Raw was supposed to be old school, not Jurassic Park. The always prepared Layla whips out her fossil brush to dust Mae off. Maybe they can count the rings and see how old she really is! LayCool point out that all throughout Mae’s 100 year career, she’s never held a championship. Meanwhile, LayCool the history makers, are currently your Unified Divas Champions!

LayCool ask Mae what she needs. Is she thirsty? No, she just needs her Depends changed. Twins, make yourselves useful and hop on that! Before the Bellas have time to get out the baby wipes, Mean Gene asks for Mae’s response. She wants “these sluts” in a match! It just got real!!! Mae talks some more, but the collective reactions of everyone watching around the world drowns her out. LayCool have some pretty awesome lines and we all know from Maria to Beth to Melina, nobody can really verbally match up to them. Who knew Mae Young could! Gene asks if Mae wants LayCool in a no disqualification match! Absolutely! “You little bitches, let’s go!”

After a little giggle fest, LayCool ask for a ref and call for the bell in this Falls Count Anywhere match up. But wait, Michelle can’t beat up Mae Young! Layla should do it! While LayCool try to decide who should do the match, some of the other divas come out. Uh, nobody asked you to be here! This match is for greatness only! Sorry Melina, but you’ve been defeated like 18 times by LayCool, it’s time to step to the back and stay there! LayCool have no desire to be in such an unfair match, so they start to walk away. Again, LayCool are very compassionate! They wouldn’t beat on little ol’ Mae! As they turn to leave, the other divas attack them from behind. Yet everyone hates on LayCool. At least they don’t do things like that! Natalya throws Michelle into the steel barricade while the others haul Layla over to Mae who slaps the taste out of her mouth. Natalya knocks Layla down with a clothesline and Mae gets the pin.

Yep, it’s true. Melina, Beth Phoenix, Mickie James… none of them can overcome LayCool. However, you bring in a lady some consider the first Diva ever and she beats them just like that. Take notes, ladies! Then again, we know you won’t, which is why we’re looking forward to LayCool once again defeated Natalya this Sunday at Survivor Series and retaining their title!

♠ Screen Captures > RAW > 11.15.10
♠ WWE.Com > Digital Photos > Raw > November 15, 2010

After Natalya defeated Alicia Fox again, LayCool let their voices be heard! YAY! They tell Natalya that this a beautiful moment in her beautiful hometown. What a beautiful hometown it is, isn’t it? …NOT! LayCool would love Canada, but it is way too cold and their beer is way watered down! Plus everybody is constantly saying eh! Eh? Eh! Eh? Eh? EHHH!? Not to mention that there are Harts everywhere! Do they actually own Canada? Michelle says that the Harts don’t belong in the Hall of Fame, they belong in the Loony Bin, just like Natalya.

Michelle slips in the ring and as Natalya goes after her, Layla comes in from the other side and grabs her legs. Michelle delivers one of her Flawless kicks, knocking the 3rd generation diva flat on her booty! I hope everyone in that arena pulled out their cameras at this point because what happened next was truly a Kodak Moment! Michelle put Natalya in the infamous Sharpshooter! YEAH BABY!!! The referee calls for the bell, Natalya spits on Vince McMahon and… oh wait.

Natalya manages to get out of the hold. She grabs Layla and tries to put her in the Sharpshooter, but ever the faithful friend, Michelle pulls her to safety. LayCool get to ringside while Natalya taunts them from the ring. Psht! She won’t be taunting at Bragging Rights when Michelle makes her tap! What? Layla could be wrestling? Oh.. Hmm..

Regardless of who wrestles, seeing Michelle use the Sharpshooter on Natalya of all divas was most definitely Flawless! The icing on the cake was the show being in Canada as well. They weren’t in Montreal, but it’s the same country!

This Sunday, it’s time for LayCool to get some revenge! Natalya tapping out to her own Sharpshooter? We would love to add that to Michelle’s extensive list of accomplishments!

♠ Screen Captures > RAW > 10.18.10
♠ WWE.Com > Digital Photos > Raw > October 18, 2010